I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
