is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
