Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
