new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
