i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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