If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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