So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
