wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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