yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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