Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
