that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
