I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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