I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
