So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
