Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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