Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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