That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
