i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
