it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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