thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
