Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
