so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
