She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
