all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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