Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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