I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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