I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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