i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The convent might be a nice break from real life
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
