Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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