I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
