At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
