2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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