Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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