I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
