I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
