Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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