Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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