how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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