You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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