you would pick up someone in the library
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Even my vagina gasped.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you had me at cake vodka
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
