mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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