She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
