He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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