remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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