Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize