i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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