I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
