I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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