im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This toilet bowl is my home.
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