yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
