i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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