last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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