This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
