God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
