Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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