I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
