soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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