Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
