At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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