I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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