I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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