How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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