i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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